Intentional Mothering Is …

31 Days of Intentional Mothering | Faith and Composition

Y’all, I have a confession to make. We’re just four days into this 31 Days of Intentional Mothering series, and I’m already thinking I bit off more than I can chew. An entire month of writing on intentional mothering … what was I thinking? Not only is the topic heavy, but I’m a card-carrying member of Unintentional Moms Anonymous.

No really, I feel a heavy weight of conviction on my shoulders, because if I’m going to write these words, I want them to be worth your time to read! I want them to sink down into the depths of your spirit and take root. I want them to impact you, and I want them to impact me! But in order to do that, God is going to have to be really big here, and I’m going to have to be really small! Because I’m not an expert on this topic; I don’t have this all figured out. I show up for a date with my blinking cursor and a blank page, and I just hope that God gives me the words!

With that being said, I pray you’ll extend me some grace. I hope you realize that this little exercise in writing on this topic for 31 days is a process that the Lord is using to refine me and my own mothering. He’s bringing me face-to-face with my own shortcomings. When I come to write, I look in the mirror and I see an ill-equipped writer staring back. But slowly, slowly, as letters dance across the screen, I fade and I see Jesus.

So with that admission, please realize that this series isn’t necessarily going to be a pretty package tied up with bows. I’m going to falter and make mistakes. But that’s OK, because that just means that you and I … we get to walk this journey together, learning about intentional mothering from the very God who established the role of a mother.

31 Days of Intentional Mothering | Faith and Composition

With that being said, I’d like to try to define intentional mothering. Yesterday we said that intentional mothering is not a habit, a process or a philosophical approach. Neither is it perfect parenting. In fact, intentional mothering is about as far from perfect parenting as you can get. Because perfection stifles grace; it negates mercy.

So what exactly is intentional mothering? What sets it apart and distinguishes it? And how do we begin the act of mothering with intentionality?

Above all else and very simply put, I believe intentional mothering is a heart issue. Because we can’t walk this journey if we haven’t first examined our hearts. It all starts there … in the broken, the black, the battered places. Intentional mothering starts, ends and functions out of a humble acknowledgement that we can’t do this on our own; we can only do it by the grace of God working through us.

Once we’ve come to terms with that, once we’ve done the hard work of sorting that out, we can then see our role and our relationship with our children through this lens. Then with this heart issue serving as the overarching umbrella of intentional mothering, I believe there are three components that further define intentional mothering. They are:

The three components of intentional mothering | Faith and Composition

Thus, all things considered, intentional mothering is a heart-attitude that lends a kingdom perspective to the task of parenting and results in actions that reinforce and emphasize that eternal truth.

The acknowledgement of our own brokenness and the willing receipt of God’s grace in place of that brokenness are paramount to intentional mothering. Because if you don’t understand those two factors, then any efforts pertaining to number three are done in vain.

Intentional mothering isn’t about you or me. It’s not about our own abilities to raise our children, our tenacity in discipline, our patience in frustration, our perseverance in the hard times. Intentional mothering is about having a heart surrendered to Jesus so we can be a conduit through which His grace flows in overwhelming measure to the little people He placed in our care. 

Tomorrow we’ll talk about the first part of intentional mothering and why it must start with brokenness. It could get a bit messy, because brokenness isn’t pretty. But the good news is that God hasn’t left us broken! He has redeemed us; He calls us by name. And it’s only by His grace that we can fulfill this incredible calling of motherhood.

Join me tomorrow? I sure hope so!

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7 thoughts on “Intentional Mothering Is …

  1. kimcosgrove

    “Intentional mothering is about having a heart surrendered to Jesus so we can be a conduit through which His grace flows in overwhelming measure to the little people He placed in our care. ”
    I love that definition…and I love this series. Thanks for putting yourself “out there” to do it. =)

  2. Ashley

    Shalene, thank you so much for this. Your words could not come at a better time (God’s timing is always perfect!). I have a beautiful little girl, abut to turn four, and another on the way in February. I struggled with having another child for so long because of the generational sin of favoritism. Growing up, my brother was given special treatment and that’s not just me being petty and sibling rivalry. My gear wasn’t that I could handle two chikdren, but that I would love the ‘new’ one more (our daughter is a handful and God has done great things through her in changing me and refining me in her short life! And it hasn’t been easy!). God has promised me that he won’t leave me alone in this and will guide me in not making the same mistakes and I truely believe this series is part of that plan and promise (no pressure right! Haha). So all that to say, thank you. Thank you for pouring your heart out and laying it all out for the world to see. I’ll be following along the way, and I’m excited to see where we end up :-).

    1. shaleneroberts Post author

      Ashley, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I am so glad that you are on this journey with me .. that we can walk this road together! I too, can’t wait to see where we end up!

  3. Pingback: 31 Days of Intentional Mothering | faith&composition

  4. Debbie

    Shalene, THANK YOU! Every word you write is such a blessing and encouragement. And I find it’s not just for young moms, but for us grandmothers, too! I had those moments you write about, when my kids were young! Times of frustration, yelling (when I intended to be a Godly, patient mom, feeling all alone, wishing God would write across the sky what He wanted me to do or say in a given moment, wanting to do what was right but so often falling so far short, etc. Now as a fairly new grandmother (to a 2 1/2 yr old and 9 month old), I want to be that spiritual foundation for them and also a Godly encourager for my kids as they now enter the parenting roll. You write that you feel overwhelmed with this project you’ve taken on….writing for 31 days on Intentional Mothering….. Know that I’m praying for you every morning as I spend time with the Lord. You should seriously consider putting this into a book!

  5. Leanne

    I just found your blog and I shared it with some of my friends on our mommy baby chat grouo. I hope they find it as heart warming as I do. I believe God led me to your blog and I believe I am going to be empowered by your words. How truly inspiring.

    All the way from South Africa x


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