Confessions of an Unintentional Mom

Confessions of an Unintentional Mom | Faith and Composition

It’s a bit ironic that I chose to talk about intentional mothering for 31 days. Because truth be told, sometimes I’m the most unintentional mother you’ll ever meet.

I think it’s important that you understand that … that you realize I’m far from perfect, and I certainly don’t have this intentional mothering thing figured out. I’m navigating these waters one day at a time, just like you, staying afloat only because His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new each day.

On one hand, that means I’m coming to this space with a bit of fear and trembling, acknowledging that I’m ill-equipped to speak with you about this topic. But on the other hand, it also means I’m coming to this space empty, waiting for The Lord to fill me up. That’s a great place to be … waiting with an open heart to hear what The Lord is going to teach us regarding these matters!

So with that in mind, today I’m sharing a few of my own confessions of an unintentional mom. Because when we’re honest about our own shortcomings, when we take our masks off and embrace authenticity, we invite others to do the same. And if we’re going to walk this month-long journey together, we’re going to need a lot of authenticity and a heaping dose of grace!

Additionally, (as you’ll see tomorrow) I believe recognizing our own brokenness is an essential part of intentional mothering. Why? Because we can only parent with intentionality when we first understand that we can’t do it by our own sheer will. We can’t resolve to be an intentional mom and then succeed at that task if we’re trying to achieve it by our own power. We need HIS power to do that, and it’s only when we look at our own flaws and failures that we realize just how badly we need Him to step into the middle of our mothering. After all, we can only extend grace, compassion, mercy and forgiveness to our own kids if we’ve experienced it ourselves first.

Confessions of an Unintentional Mom | Faith and Composition

I know that to be true, because I’m so often in need of it myself. I write to encourage fellow moms, but I frequently find myself discouraged in this role. I have a short fuse, and I yell at my kids … sometimes for insignificant things. I’m impatient to their requests. I dole out justice when I’d rather give mercy; I get frustrated with their little messes and noisy play. I compare myself to other moms, inadvertently basing my “success” or my “failure” on my perceptions of others. I can be unstructured to a fault during our days and then suffer immense guilt over that very fact, believing that I should have done more, been more, taught more.

It’s for these reasons and more (so many more) that I am ill-equipped to talk about this subject, but it’s for these same reasons and more that I’m excited to hear what The Lord may say on this topic. Because this is going to be less about me and more about Him. 

I’m so glad you’re joining me for this journey! I pray that authenticity and grace will cover this conversation and the entirety of this month. Tomorrow we’ll answer the question that asks: What is intentional mothering? And then we’ll unpack that answer some more in the days that follow. I’m excited to explore it all with you, but until then, what about you? Where do you feel you fall short? What are your own confessions of an unintentional mom?

To read Day 1 in this 31 Days of Intentional Mothering Series, click here

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Like what you see here? Then you’ll love my first-ever children’s book, Bruce the Brave. Now available on Amazon

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5 thoughts on “Confessions of an Unintentional Mom

  1. Deliah Lewis

    I too struggle in those same areas. I find that I yell when I just needed to calmly express my thoughts and/or conerns. I am continually working on my patience and more often than not I ask God right there and then for guidance, grace and mercy before I address my children, especially my youngest. He is smart, bright, thoughtful, loving, caring and on the other hand, he doesn’t listen, or follow directions well. He wants to do his own thing, when and how he wants. We struggle in determining the best way to discipline (offer concequences). Constant struggle and one we know we will not be able to handle without God’s teaching and guidance. Blessings to you for being transparent and sharing that you are a mother like most of us with the best of intentions and goobles of love who just mess it up from time to time. Have a wonderful day in our Lord.

    Reply
  2. Marie

    I can certainly appreciate what you are saying here and WISH I had been more purposeful with my parenting and instructing of my child when he was young. My confession… I did not do what I knew to do… teach him about his need and responsibility to respond to Jesus and build a relationship with Him. I read him stories, we had talks, but as he got older (11 – 13) never touched on the fact that he should stay close and include Jesus in all that he did. At 14… it got scary. He’s not the same happy kid he has always been. Lots of changes and he has “distanced” himself from us. So unlike the child he was. Now I am filled with regret of having neglected this crucial area. Life was so busy ~ school, oppressive amounts of homework, soccer, friends, etc. I left spiritual nourishment to the side. From my today perspective ~ I wish I would have been more purposeful. I wish I could take a “do over” because I would not let the worldly responsibilities and hurriedness of life override the true foundation of my child’s life.

    Reply
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